…I dunno why I’m thinking about this even though it happened over a year ago, but I just frickin’ hated most of high school. Like, I didn’t care much about being in the in-crowd, but I at least wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. But no, most people were just cliquey. I can’t help but envy those other “nerdy” people like me that were acknowledged by others. How did they even do that?
Don’t get me wrong, I had friends who went to the same high school with me. Unfortunately, most of my close friends went to different schools. I was still lonely. So what did I do? I tried putting my name out there: I participated in class, I joined several clubs, I auditioned for different drama productions (though I only starred in one), I wrote for the school newspaper, I performed in candle rose, etc. I guess most people might’ve known my name, but didn’t care enough to get to know me. I’m also nice for the most part, but I’ve realized a lotta people don’t get remembered for being nice.
I think one of the loneliest moments for me actually happened on my 18th birthday during second period. It was my actual birthday, and I was all dressed up. But another girl got balloons as an early birthday gift, and even though her birthday is a day after mine our classmates greeted only her and not me. Nobody bothered to ask why I was wearing makeup and nice clothes. Nobody noticed. I was invisible.
I guess in the back of my mind I’ve always wondered what it was like to be remembered by people…